When I Wake Up
by link no miko
Summary: [Tsubasa: RESERVoir CHRoNiCLE] Syaoran realises the exact meaning of the price he paid to be allowed to save Sakura. [SPOILERSBook 2] [oneshot]


Hi all. I wrote this a few months ago for an LJ comm. I'm a part of, and finally figured I would post it here. Syaoran/Sakura is one of my most favoritest couples _evar_ and that applies to _Tsubasa_ as well. So when I finally got to read the end of book two (I'd started with scanslations but once it was licensed I had to stop), I just fell in love with chapter 13.

I guess I'm masochistic like that or something.

So. Anyway. This little idea popped into my head and wouldn't leave. All it really is is a novelisation of chapter 13, with a few added changes and some dialogue tweaks. I did use the actual dialogue for most of it, but I messed with some areas and incorporated a scene from an earlier chapter for the sake of drama (and to make sense of a certain memory). **This is nothing but a huge spoiler for the end of Book 2.** You have been warned.

Anywho, I hope you enjoy.

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_When I wake up…_

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It was time. This was _it_. Sakura would… Sakura would wake up! I'd done it! She would wake up and she would see me—me—and she would smile. Smile like she always did back home.

Smile just for me.

My feet were moving so fast, I could barely see the houses. Nothing mattered except that I had finally done it.

I would save her.

I almost missed Sorata-san and Arashi-san as I ran past, my thoughts focused only on my sleeping princess. I just managed to hear Sorata-san's voice though, and without skipping a beat I merely yelled back to him.

"I found one of Sakura's feathers!"

If he replied or not, I don't even know.

When I finally got back to the house I nearly tripped ripping my shoes off. But still, nothing could stop me. I was so close. I could tell. With this feather she would wake up!

The Time Witch's payment never even entered into my mind.

Collapsing by her side, the feather glowing in my hands, I repeated to myself, over and over, begging myself over and over that she would wake up, please let her wake up. Its glow brightening, the feather floated from my hands and into her chest, sinking into her body as the glow nearly blinded me. But I didn't look away. I kept my eyes on her face, grasped her hands with my own.

_Wake up! You have to…! With this feather…please wake up. Sakura!_

As I watched her, begging for her eyes to open, my mind played back a memory long cherished. Sakura, laying in her bed sick, me watching over her.

_"Your highness, are you all right?"_

_"I told you not to be so polite! Call me Sakura!" Despite the fever and flushed skin, she still managed to look both adorably cute and determined. I don't know if one aspect supported the other or not._

_Stammering an apology, she simply smiled at me, pulling her covers up to her nose and watching me closely, her cheeks reddening more. _

_"Are you really ok?" I asked, leaning over her bed more than I probably should have been allowed to._

_"I'm fine," she continued, pulling the covers down and smiling brightly. "It's just a little fever. The doctors say I just need some rest and I'll be fine." I smiled slightly at her, at how she could always be so optimistic, but before I could say anything else she pulled the covers over her face again, and I knew she was blushing through the fever._

_"They also said that…I'll get better if someone holds my hand…" Slowly, cautiously, a hand peeked itself out of the covers. "Is that…asking too much…?"_

_Without thinking I reached out, grabbing her hand in both of mine, feeling my own face heat up. "You really should get sleep," I muttered, wincing at how stupid that sounded. Sakura just smiled again._

_"You'll stay here with me?"_

_"Yeah."_

_Her smile brightened her entire face. "If I fall asleep like this, the first thing I'll see when I wake up…will be you, Syaoran."_

Her eyes slowly started to open, the feather's light fading into her body, the room dimming back to normal.

_"If I fall asleep like this, the first thing I'll see when I wake up…"_

I could see the green of her eyes now, sleepy and not quite awake, but there, open! Sakura was awake. I'd done it. I'd done it!

"Sakura…!"

_"…will be you, Syaoran."_

"Who…are you?"

_Who… 'Who are you?' _

Slowly, painfully, her hand slipped from mine.

_Sakura…it's me. It's me, Syaoran!_

Her eyes looked up at me, awake but blank. Not blank as in lifeless, though.

Blank because there was no recognition in that gaze.

And suddenly, all too suddenly, the price I had paid to be allowed to travel through the worlds came back full force. Too much. It was too much. How could I have…?

_Because her memory—because –she- —is more important than your own feelings._

Biting my lip, I had to lower my face, not able to look at those eyes. Those eyes I'd waited to see since that day back home, what seemed like such a long time ago. The eyes I'd been dreaming of, picturing constantly. The eyes that gave me strength to keep going through all of this.

But I couldn't just pull away from her.

"I am called Syaoran," I said, lifting my head and smiling through the pain. "And you are her highness, Princess Sakura." She blinked, her face a mask of confusion, so I continued. "Please let me explain. You're a princess. …From another world."

She was like a bird as she tilted her head to the side, taking in all this information as though it was new to her.

_Because it is_.

"Another world?"

"Yes." Still I smiled. "You've lost your memory, and are traveling between worlds in order to find it."

She leaned in closer to me, eyes wide. "I'm alone?"

The smile slipped. "No. You have traveling companions." _You have me, Sakura. I'm still here. I'm always here._

"Are you one of them?"

My lip trembled, but I forced myself to remain calm. "Yes."

Her hand reached out, almost touching my own but falling short. I don't think she noticed what she'd done. "You would do that for a perfect stranger?"

_Never that. Never that…!_

"Yes. Of course." The smile was back, full force. I thought my face would break. I _wanted_ it to. This false smile, I wanted it to shatter.

Fye came to my rescue then, placing a calm, cool hand on my shoulder. I vaguely realized he was introducing himself, Kurogane as well. Sakura nodded to each of them, taking in this new information the same way she had taken in mine.

Silently I stood, knowing Fye and Kurogane were watching me. Knowing that Sakura wasn't.

Knowing she wouldn't ever again.

_"Syaoran, your price will be… Your relationship. The thing you value the most is your relationship with her."_

_I know…I know. _

_"Even if this child's memories are completely restored…"_

_I know…_

_"Your relationship with her will never be the same again."_

_Please…_

_"-That- is your price."_

_**I know!**_

It was raining. Cold. The wind was cold, too. Outside, away from Sakura's light, away from the one I cared most about but could never reach again, away from the one who I couldn't touch ever again.

_"If I fall asleep like this, the first thing I'll see when I wake up…"_

My hand had never left hers, but it still hadn't been enough.

Everything was cold.

Weary and burned, the rain fell down around me, washing me, driving it all away, numbing it all. Washing the dirt, the pain, that _smile_, from my face.

But it wasn't just the rain that fell that night.


End file.
